I am Alcohol………..

Alcohol

A Talk with God…..


In Prayer 

Our Father who art in Heaven…

YES?

 

Don’t interrupt me.  I’m praying…

BUT YOU CALLED ME.

 

Called you?  I didn’t call you.  I’m praying.  Our Father who art in Heaven…

THERE, YOU DID IT AGAIN.

 

Did what?

CALLED ME.  YOU SAID, “OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN”.  HERE I AM.  WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?

 

But I didn’t mean anything by it.  I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.  I always say the Lord’s Prayer.  It makes me feel good, kind of like getting my duty done.

ALL RIGHT.  GO ON.

 

Hallowed be Thy name.

HOLD ON.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

 

By what?

BY “HALLOWED BE THY NAME.”

 

It means…it means…good grief, I don’t know what it means.  How should I know?  It’s just part of the prayer.  By the way, what does it mean?

IT MEANS “HONORED”, “HOLY”, “WONDERFUL”.

 

Hey, that makes sense.  I never thought about what “Hallowed” meant before.  Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

 

Sure, why not?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

 

Do?  Nothing, I guess.  I just think it would be great if You got control of everything down here like You have up there.

DO I HAVE CONTROL OF YOU?

 

Well, I go to AA meetings and church once in awhile.

THAT ISN’T WHAT I ASKED YOU.  WHAT ABOUT THAT NEW PERSON THAT TOOK A “DESIRE CHIP” AT YOUR MEETING TODAY?  WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WENT TO THE 24 HOUR CLUB OR THE SALVATION ARMY OR SOME OTHER PLACE WHERE YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HELP SOMEONE WHO IS SUFFERING FROM WHAT IT WAS THAT JUST ABOUT DESTROYED YOU BY TELLING THEM WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING FOR YOU?  HOW ABOUT THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY…ALL ON YOURSELF.  YOU GIVE VERY LITTLE TO YOUR GROUP AND WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU HELPED A NEEDY NEWCOMER WITH A LITTLE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE?  DOESN’T THE PROGRAM I GAVE YOU TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE TO SERVE ME AND THE PEOPLE I PUT IN YOUR LIFE?  DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ON?

 

Stop picking on me!!  I’m just as good as some of the rest of those phonies in our Fellowship.

EXCUSE ME… I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE.  IF THAT IS TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT.  LIKE YOU, FOR EXAMPLE.

 

Oh, all right!  I guess I do have some shortcomings.  Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others.

SO COULD I!!!

 

I hadn’t thought about it until now, but I really would like to be of more service to You and the ones You put in my life.  I’d like to, you know, make my life count for more than it has been.

NOW WE ARE GETTING SOMEWHERE.  WE’LL WORK TOGETHER…  YOU AND ME.  NOW, SOME VICTORIES CAN TRULY BE WON.  I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.

 

Look Lord, I need to finish up here.  This is taking a lot longer than it usually does…Give us this day our daily bread.

YOU COULD DO A LITTLE BETTER WITH THE “BREAD” I DO GIVE YOU EACH DAY.  YOU DON’T EAT RIGHT, YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY SELFISHLESSLY.  YOU ARE BASICALLY SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED.  THAT IS REALLY THE ROOT OF ALL YOUR TROUBLES.

 

Hey, wait a minute!  What is this, “Criticize Me Day?”  Here I was doing my spiritual duty, and all of a sudden You break in and remind me of all my character defects.

PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING.  YOU COULD WIND UP A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON YOU KNOW.  THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO GET ACROSS TO YOU.  YOU CALLED ME, AND HERE I AM.  IT’S TOO LATE TO STOP NOW.  KEEP ON PRAYING.  I’M VERY INTERESTED IN THE NEXT PART OF YOUR PRAYER,  ………….…………………….WELL, GO ON.

 

I’m afraid to.

SCARED?  OF WHAT?  I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY.  TRY ME AND SEE.

 

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

OH YEH.   WHAT ABOUT_________?

 

See, I knew it!  I knew You would bring them up!  Why?  They have gossiped about me, cheated me out of money…they never paid me back the debt they owe me.  You know I swore to get even.

BUT YOUR PRAYER………WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?

 

I really didn’t mean it.  It’s just a part of the prayer.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU ARE BEING HONEST WITH ME.  BUT IT’S NOT MUCH FUN CARRYING THAT LOAD OF RESENTMENTS, IS IT?

 

No, but I’ll feel better as soon as I get even with them.  Boy, have I made some plans for those sick souls.  They’ll wish they had never met me when I get through with them.

YOU WON’T FEEL ANY BETTER.  YOU’LL FEEL WORSE.  REVENGE ISN’T SWEET.  THINK OF HOW UNHAPPY YOU ARE ALREADY.  BUT I CAN CHANGE ALL THAT.

 

You can?  How?

FORGIVE THEM.  THEN I’LL FORGIVE YOU.  THEN THE HATE AND SIN WILL BE THEIR PROBLEM AND NOT YOURS.  THEY MAY NOT MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH YOU BUT YOU WILL BE AT PEACE IN YOUR HEART.

 

But Lord, with what they did to me, I can’t forgive them.

THEN I CAN NOT FORGIVE YOU!

 

Oh, You’re right!  You are always right.  And more than I want revenge on them, I want to be all right with You….All right!  I forgive them.  Help them to find the right path in life.  Lord, they are bound to be awfully miserable, now that I think about them.  Some way, some how, show them the right path.

GOOD!  NOW HOW DO YOU FEEL?

 

Hmmmm…not bad.  Not bad at all.  In fact, I feel pretty good.  You know, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble sleeping tonight for the first time in a long time.  Maybe I won’t be so tired from not getting enough rest.

YOU ARE NOT THROUGH WITH YOUR PRAYER….GO ON.

 

Oh, all right….And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

GOOD…GOOD!  I’LL DO JUST THAT.  JUST DON’T PUT YOURSELF IN PLACES OR SITUATIONS WHERE YOU CAN BE TEMPTED.

 

What do you mean by that?

I HAVE GIVEN YOU A SET OF DIRECTIONS TO LIVE BY.  AS LONG AS YOU ARE WILLING TO FOLLOW THOSE DIRECTIONS, YOU WILL BE JUST FINE.  UNFORTUNATELY, YOU HAVE A WAY OF DECIDING THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.  HOW MANY TIMES HAS THAT PUT YOU IN REAL TROUBLE?

 

I don’t understand.

SURE YOU DO.  YOU’VE DONE IT A LOT OF TIMES.  YOU DID WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO THAT YOU KNEW YOU SHOULDN’T DO.  YOU GOT INTO TROUBLE AND CAME RUNNING TO ME FOR HELP.  REMEMBER HOW MANY TIMES YOU HAVE SAID, “DEAR GOD, IF YOU WILL JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS MESS I PROMISE I’LL………………”  WHEN DID I EVER LET YOU DOWN?  AND WHEN DID YOU EVER KEEP YOUR END OF THE DEAL?

 

Oh yes, and I am ashamed Lord.  I really am.

GO AHEAD AND FINISH YOUR PRAYER.

 

Oh yes…for Thine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory forever and ever.  Amen.

YOU DO KNOW THAT THIS IS MY KINGDOM, NOT YOURS DON’T YOU?

 

 

Yes Lord, I do.

YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE ALIVE AND WELL WITH A REAL PURPOSE IN LIFE TODAY BECAUSE OF MY POWER, DON’T YOU?

 

Yes Lord, I do.

WELL THEN, DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY?  WHAT WOULD REALLY PLEASE ME?

 

No God, but I sure would like to know.  I do want to please You.  I have made a complete mess of my life and I can see what You have been doing for me.  You have done far more than I deserve.  Yes, I am willing to see how great my life could be if I really tried to please You.  Will You please show me what I can do to make You pleased with me?

YOU JUST DID.  YOU JUST ANSWERED MY QUESTION.

 

I did?

YES, THE ONE THING THAT WOULD BRING ME GLORY IS TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU TRULY LOVE ME AND WANT TO PLEASE ME BY BEING MY INSTRUMENT IN HELPING OTHERS COME TO KNOW ME THROUGH THE PROGRAM I HAVE GIVEN YOU.  I CAN SEE THAT HAPPENING BETWEEN US.  NOW THAT SOME OF YOUR SELFISHNESS HAS BEEN EXPOSED AND DONE AWAY WITH.  WELL, I CAN SEE SOME GREAT THINGS HAPPENING.  THERE IS NO TELLING WHAT WE CAN DO TOGETHER.

 

Yes Lord, let’s see what we can do and what You can make out of me, OK?

 

YES, LET’S GET BUSY AND SEE!!!

 

by Neil Miller

Can God interrupt your life?


Psalm 55:22 -
You really need to read this.
“Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.”

This was written by a Hospice Physician:

I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5pm, stuck in traffic on on NI North and the car started to choke and splutter and die – I barely managed to coast into a gas station \ Ultracity before Old Johannesburg Road, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic on the highway and would have a somewhat safe & warm spot to wait for the tow truck. The car wouldn’t even turn over on starting it. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the building of the garage and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay.

When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen.
She was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a 50c.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: The crying woman, an old bit up volkswagen beetle, crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back seat, and the gas pump reading R10.00.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying “I don’t want my kids to see me crying,” so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to Limpopo and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, “And you were praying when I saw you down”? That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, “He heard you, and He sent me.”

I took out my petrol card and gave it to the petrol attendant to use for swiping it and paying for petrol and I asked him to fill up her car completely. And while it was fueling, I walked to the next door Steers and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift vouchers for more food and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the
car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating chips and talking a little.

She told me her name and that she lived in Betrams. Her husband left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn’t have money to pay rent Jan. 1 and finally in desperation, had finally plug up the courage to call her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in Limpopo they said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.

So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to Limpopo for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there. I gave her some money, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said: “So, are you like an angel or something?”

This definitely made me cry. I said, “Sweetie, at this time of the year, Angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people.”

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else’s miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I’ll take it to the mechanic tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won’t find anything wrong.

Sometimes the Angels fly close enough to you, that you can hear the flutter of their wings…

Psalms 55:22 “Cast thy burdens upon the Lord and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”

My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, especially for the 1st 6 months of 2013 , and I picked you.

Please pass this to 4 people you want to be blessed.
Here is the prayer: 

‘Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Whe re there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace, In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.’ 

I know I picked more than 4 people, you can, too.
When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say, “Jesus, could You please get that for me”.


STAY BLESSED!!!!!

 

 
 
 

10 Ways to have a great day….

A new day

 

1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK:
If someone is rude,
if someone is impatient,
if someone is unkind….
I will not respond in a like manner.

2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY “ENEMY”:
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly,
I will quietly ask GOD to bless that individual.
I understand the “enemy” could be a family member,
neighbor, coworker or stranger.

3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not
spread gossip.

4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.

5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.

6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE, BUT I WILL DO IT SECRETLY:
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.

7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED:
I will practice the golden rule-do unto others as I would have them do
unto you-with everyone I encounter.

8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE WHO IS DISCOURAGED:
My smile, my words,my expression of support,can make the difference to
someone who is wrestling with life.

9. TODAY I WILL NURTURE MY BODY:
I will eat less;
I will eat only healthy foods.
I will thank GOD for my body.

10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY:
I will spend a little more time in prayer today:
I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational today;
I will find a quiet place (at some point during this day)
and listen to GOD’s voice!!! “But since we belong to the day,
let us be self controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate,
and hope of salvation as a helmet.

Don’t quit!

Appreciate ourselves….

Image

It is time to stop this nonsense of running around picking on ourselves. We may have walked through much of our life apologizing for ourselves either directly or indirectly – feeling less valuable than others, believing that they know better than we do, and believing that somehow others are meant to be here and we are not.

We have a right to be here .We have a right to be ourselves. We are here. There is a purpose, a reason, and an intention for our life. We do not have to apologize for being here or being who we are. We are good enough, and deserving.

Others do not have our magic. We have our magic. It is in us. It doesn’t matter what we’ve done in our past. We all have a past, woven with mistakes, successes, and learning experiences. We have a right to our past. It is ours. It has worked to shape and form us. As we progress on this journey, we shall see how each of our experiences will be turned around and used for good.

We have already spent too much time being ashamed, being apologetic, and doubting the beauty of ourselves. Be done with it. Let it go. It is an unnecessary burden. Others have rights, but so do we. We are neither less than nor more than. We are equal. We are who we are.

That is whom we were created and intended to be. That, my friends, is a wonderful gift.

God, help me own my power to love and appreciate myself. Help me give myself validity instead of looking to others to do that.

The Set aside / Lay aside prayer…

This is a post which I have written 42 days ago but never posted, but here it is.

 

The Set Aside Prayer

Dear God,

please set aside everything I think I know

About myself,

this book,

my disease,

these steps,

and especially about you dear God

so that I might have an open mind And a new experience with all these things.

Please help me to see the truth.

Scripture for today

Romans 9:1-2 “I say the truth in Christ, I lie not, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Ghost. That I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart.” KJV

We thought “conditions” drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn’t do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were. (As Bill Sees it, p1)

First off, they can be told that the majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us, self-justification was the maker of excuses; excuses, of course, for drinking, and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention of alibis a fine art. We had to drink because times were hard or times were good. We had to drink because at home we were smothered with love or got none at all. We had to drink because at work we were great successes or dismal failures. We had to drink because our nation had won a war or lost a peace. And so it went, ad infinitum. We thought “conditions” drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn’t to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were. (12 and 12, p46-47)

The doctors opinion, William D Silkworth

We have an allergy to alcohol, we have to be freed from the physical craving of liquor. Our ideals must be grounded in a power greater than ourselves, if we are to recreate our lives.

Many times we make a resolution not to drink again, we repeat this over and over again, but unless we experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope of our recovery. Once a psychic change has occurred, we who have seemed doomed, who had so many problems we despaired of ever solving them, we find ourselves easily able to control our desire for alcohol.

Then the only effort necessary is to follow a few simple rules.

This is so me. I’ve used situations as an excuse to drink, used to manipulate situations in order for my wife to allow me to drink, blaming situations and others for my own misery and unhappiness. But here today my eyes has been opened, it’s not situations or others, it is ME! I need to change in order to meet situations.

I’ve had sober periods for up to 3 years. I have been drinking since the age of 15, this continued up to the age of 33, then I tried to stop many times. I relied on my own will power, but history shows me that I need a power greater than myself to stay sober.

I’m turning 40 in a months time, my turning point has come, alcohol has caused so much heartache and damage in my life, now it is my turn to cause heartache and damage to alcohol for the rest of my life.

I am 129 days sober today, although I made quotes and answered to questions about the Big Book and the 12 & 12, I never really thought that this is actually the one and only solution for me.

My prayer for today:

My Lord, you know how hard I tried to break free from this habit that controls me. You know how hard I tried to resist this temptation, this momentary pleasure whose price I cannot afford to pay. I tried so hard my Lord, but I have failed you over and over and over again. Because everytime my loneliness haunts me, everytime my fears arouses panic within me, everytime I’m hurt and confused and I don’t know what to do, everytime I’m miserable deep inside and I need real help, I run to the bottle that has long been my sole friend and savior. I run to the bottle instead of running unto you.

How I wanted to run to you, but it seemed so much easier to reach for the bottle than to reach out my hand to you. It seemed so much easier to escape, to numb my senses as though I were already dead. It seemed so easier to pretend nothing’s wrong, to act out courage at times when I have so much fear within me. I thought that by trying to run away, I can forget my troubles. I thought that by numbing my senses, I can completely escape from the pain.

But O, how wrong was I indeed! For in exchange for brief moments of forgetfulness, my troubles return with twice the problems I already had. In exchange for brief moments of relief, I end up hurting myself more and those that I love so much. How can I even take back the curses I gave my children? The hurt I’ve allowed my wife to suffer? How can I ever respect the man who has allowed himself to be enslaved for a few moments of illusion and relief? There is no real relief except that which comes from courageously facing one’s problems. There is no real salvation except that which comes from a true change of heart.

Help me O Lord, that I may break free from this habit that enslaves me. Let me not exchange my royal heritage for a mere glass of wine. Save me from the monster I become whenever I fail to recognize the child of God that lives in me. Indeed, you have not given me a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power to overcome my troubles, of love to be responsible for the lives of those whom I touch, and of a sound mind filled with wisdom, capable of choosing the things of eternal worth over the things that will not last. It will not be an easy task, and I know that I will die for every cup of wine I will refuse with my thirsty flesh. But I dare to reclaim my soul O God. I dare to drink from the well of salvation from which I shall never thirst again.

 

 

If we knew….

We should learn to look at the faults of others only through love’s eyes, with charity, patience, and compassion.

We do not know the secret history of the lives of others about us.

We do not know what piercing sorrows have produced the scars which we see in people’s souls.

We do not know the pains and trials which make life hard to many with whom we are tempted to be impatient.

If we knew all the secret burdens and the heart-wounds which many carry hidden beneath their smiling faces,

we would be patient and gentle with all men.

Hope

Hope opens doors where despair closes them.

Hope discovers what can be done instead of grumbling about what cannot.

Hope draws its power from a deep trust in God.

Hope “lights a candle” instead of “cursing the darkness.”

Hope regards problems, small or large, as opportunities.

Hope cherishes no illusions, nor does it yield to cynicism.

Hope sets high goals and is not frustrated by repeated difficulties or setbacks.

Hope pushes ahead when it would be easy to quit.

Hope puts up with modest gains, realizing that “the longest journey starts with one step.”

Hope looks for the good in people instead of harping on the worst.

Trust, release and receive….

 

Trust, release and receive....

Confronting issues is the only way to get on the victorious side of them. Never let a setback become your identity! You have to get over it instead of talking about it and brooding over it Talk to it and claim your victory. Move on! We always will gain strength from our weaknesses. Stop hanging on to what cannot be changed; take charge to prevent it from happening again. You can’t change the fact that it happened but you do not have to hold on to it. We all fall short; remember we are human beings having spiritual experiences, forgive yourself as God has and press on. Guilt and remorse will drag you down. Be grateful for the opportunity to change for the better. Appreciate the opportunity to take a closer look at you. Turn to God and his infinite wisdom. I poured out my complaint before him: I shewed before him my trouble (Psalm 142:2) When you release you will receive. Your success is measured by your willingness to keep trying. God will give you a new beginning, he is so faithful just seek his face read and meditate on his word and talk to him, he is waiting to hear from you. I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings (Psalm 77:12) Keep the faith! You are the only one who knows what he has done for you in the past. Faith and love solve many things (Phyllis Elliot). Meditating on God and his ways and works will need to become a regular part of your thought life if you want to experience victory. The devil will eventually give up when he sees that you are not going to give in! Every day that God allows you to wake up is a precious gift. A new day, full of new; grace, mercy and favor. He will not abandon you. He is your refuge and his everlasting arms are around you. Stop feeling hopeless and be hope filled. Your setback cannot destroy you when you take refuge in God. Trust, release and receive….

Addiction

Originally posted on Insanity in Words:

Addiction.

It changes people. Before, I had dreams. Hopes. Ambitions. I have ambitions now too, but they’re ambitions to divulge in to my vices as intensely as possible. Addiction robs people of their very essence; addiction replaces their reason to live. Addiction becomes their reason to live. It slowly fills up your brain–it creeps up on you, gradually increasing in strength–and before you realize it, it’s consumed all your thoughts.

You might still know what’s rational. Intelligence tells you the things you do aren’t rational, aren’t normal, it’s an addiction. But you still do them. Can’t resist–and won’t want to, either. You might’ve been the most honest person on Earth–well, not likely–before becoming addicted, but the lies will pile up. Oh, you’ll lie. Questions? You’ll do anything to avoid them. No one can know about your addiction–because then you’d be forced to stop. So you’ll lie. And one day…

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henry39:

Avocation…

Originally posted on Confessions from Sasha A:

I have met and made many friends through this blogging community that I am grateful for. Many are fellow journeyers on the road to recovery. What I have found is that there are some who do not have access to AA, Celebrate Recovery, SA, NA or any other of the many wonderful organizations/ministries that plays a key role in many people’s life changing experience in Recovery. This was the basis for my inspiration for The Addiction Forum. Yes, I attend meetings on a regular basis, but my heart went out to those who do not have the ability to and turn to the internet for their support.  I am asking that if you feel lead to, please join, share your story, you can promote your blog, but join me and many others in making a difference for those of us who need community, and need to hear that victory…

View original 44 more words

Benefits of struggling……

The Birth of a Butterfly (1)

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.

But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we could never fly.

Sadness….frustration and gratitude!!!!

5 months sober today……

December the month of love, hope, family and giving…. the month of my birthday….the last month of the current year where we’re preparing and planning for a new year…kids anxiously awaiting for father Christmas….

On a previous post I asked a question , yes I decided to take the option which was better for me, my family and our recovery. I resigned from my current job, without having a definate job in January, although the prospects are looking good for the middle of January 2013.

We all agree that money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does make life easier.

My alcoholism has put my family through hell, the last 5 months of my recovery haven’t been easy, but still I have the privelege of a family who’s behind me 110%.

I just wish that employers, who has your financial fate in their hands would show a bit more humanity, compassion, etc. My fellow workers received their salaries on the 19th of December already, here I am still waiting for mine…and am most probably going to be waiting until the 3rd of January.

Yes money doesn’t buy happiness, a family needs love, respect, trust and faith…..but how do I explain to my kids that daddy can’t give you what you expected during this festive season, except my unconditional love and sobriety.

To my wife, I know you support me, believe me I do. I am truly grateful to God for putting you into my life, you are my anchor….and yes I can see the sadness in your face. ( We moved to a new home, all our kids are here, aged 11, 8, 6 and 4, the two elder ones live with their biological father, so we don’t see them often….I understand that you wanted this visit to be special for them…)

Every morning I’m up early, get my laptop connected and go to my bank account, only to see that my salary hasn’t been paid in as yet, yet another day where I need to tell you guys: sorry guys but we need to take it slowly, no treats, no road trips, sayong no to most requests from the kids, etc…

I’m actually writing this with tears flowing over my cheeks, tears of sadness, frustration and gratitude.
Being a married alcoholic with a family….the whole family is in recovery when you decide to take the journey of sobriety!

So after reading my story of December 2012, are you willing to go to any length to stop drinking….to life a manageable life again…???

Contact me if your answer is yes…

Family choices…

If you as the leader of your family came to this crossroad in your life, which direction will you take?

a) having/being a father that is drunk everyday but can provide for your family financially, or

b) having/being a sober, alcoholic in recovery father, but can’t provide for your families financial needs

My choice has been made… What will yours be?

Extending a hand of friendship……

skype id: henry.starbuck1

Acronyms…..

ALCOHOLICS = A Life Centered On Helping Others Live In Complete Sobriety

ACTION = Any Change Toward Improving One’s Nature

BIG BOOK = Believing In God Beats Our Old Knowledge

FAITH = Fear Ain’t In This House

HELP = Hope, Encouragement, Love and Patience

SOBRIETY = Stay Off Booze Recovery Is Everything To You

WILLING = When I Live Live, I Need God

CHANGE = Choosing Honesty Allows New Growth Everyday

 

 

 

 

13th Step……

steps

The original 13th Step

 

The founders of this great group originally talked about an unwritten 13th Step.

 

And it was a thing of beauty.

 

After living a life of sobriety by using the 12 Steps, the alcoholic took the 13th Step to his/her grave.

 

When they were placed in their grave they began their 13th Step.

 

Thereby living in all eternity a life of sobriety.

 

 

But the meaning of this step changed and sadly passed away to it’s present meaning – which at times is seen as a reason for divorces and folks abusing another’s vulnerability.

A relationship with self….

By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives ˜from birth onward” this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship. 

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves. 

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship – the one with our true selves.

by Madisyn Taylor

The Lord’s prayer…..

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

Rising Woman

Obsessive writer. Certified Holistic Life Coach. Cancer survivor. World traveller. Hardcore caffeine lover. Die-hard optimist with a dark side. Author of 'Reclaiming My Voice', 'What Happened That Day' and 'Stone Princess'. A work in progress. All these things are me.

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